Time-Waster of the Day

May 17th, 2010

dora aquapet

http://accidentalpenis.com/

Thanks, Target brand!

May 11th, 2010

My new magenta sports bra turned me bright, streaky pink, like some kind of borscht-dispensing wet nurse.

Tuesday Twins

March 31st, 2010

Oh dear!

Screen shot 2010-03-31 at 12.57.00 PM

Even footballers are susceptible to Rabid Possum Hair.

Brrrrr.

January 3rd, 2010

It is ARSE ALL cold here in the tristate northeast and windy as all get-out. And by get-out, I mean do NOT, unless you are wearing one of my dad’s stylish freezer suits or are inside a tauntaun or are leaving the state altogether for warmer climes.
freezer-suit
As I was writing her a birthday card, I just remembered that my friend lives in Canada. This momentarily cowed me; I should shut up, stop feeling sorry for my numb extremeties*, and stop dramatically adding more scarves to my neck. Back to my father, a man with a nuanced understanding of how to survive cold weather: stop bellyaching, and put on a sweater! Actually, he would probably say “everloving sweater.” You know these ex-sailors and their salty language.

*I had to look up the spelling (Wordpress, you were WRONG) and Google suggested Extremeties Quarterly. How can you not watch a show that goes to these lengths (har) to flesh out the story.

Ivana Slakoff

December 28th, 2009

P: So how did it go?
J: Good! Pretty good.
P: I’m sure you mean well. I see we’re wearing our grammar sweatpants today.

Spamalamadingdong

December 17th, 2009

I just moderated some would-be comments from several fine spammers, two of whom were named “Krasty” and “Vintage Pee Coat.” Hee, hee.

Krasty Gogo, was that you?

peecoat

December 4th, 2009

skirt

While the photo is hilarious, the story itself rides the fine line between just desserts and mean. As picketers go, this woman clearly meant to be helpful in her unsolicited condemnation.

Via BoingBoing.

News feed

November 23rd, 2009

1. No more nookie till after Xmas. Yes, I know you don’t care, but I enjoyed phrasing it that way.

2. Everything you ever wanted to know about urinals, ladies. And men, in case you need to brush up on your stance and etiquette. No peeking, no chatting, no excessive shaking.

3. Robot Christmas dance. It’s almost heartwarming, but reminds me a little too much of interpretive worship dances.

4. A Noisy Alphabet. Artist friends: acquire rights and make me some ABC blocks for my future offspring.

5. Epic Xmas card. Which reminds me: I should start sending those out soon. Humbug.
epicxmasbeards
Found this at Waxin’ and Milkin’, which is an amazing collection of images.

Tuesday Twins

November 17th, 2009

Muppet Sam the Eagle and David Lynch.
lyncheagle

sundries

November 12th, 2009

1. Today, there are SEVEN people in the birthday alert column on my Facebook page. That is more well-wishing than I care to offer all at once, even to the ones I like. I guess February is THE time to conceive. Might as well; what else is there to do? Put on more coats?

2. J.Crew deserves a junkpunch for this one:
P1030158

3. Owl in a box!! I may have a new favorite animal. Sorry, llama.