This morning, my eye doctor gave me those jaundice-colored drops for the glaucoma test, which appear to have leaked all through my sinuses. I am still finding bright yellow boogers at 3pm.
October 2007
mad about saffron
Friday, October 26th, 2007Keep your knickers to yourself
Monday, October 22nd, 2007Somehow, my husband gets an unbelieveable amount of emails mis-directed to him. Sometimes it’s fine, and he kindly sends a requested Thanksgiving recipe to someone else’s mother, who turns out to be a sweet old bird in the next town over.
Other times, it’s a harmless, “Yo, are you going to Bo’s party tonight?”
However, he just received this* from some woman. I suppose I would be a little pissed if it wasn’t so horribly funny (for us) and embarassing for her (when she finds out), sending her naughty nickers to a strange man (unless she meant to. Wench!). He decided not to respond, but the sad beast has RE-sent the ecard. This time, we came up with the following response and hope it works. I wish I could see her face when she realizes what happened.
“Such an ecard is sure to get a response when sent to the correct address.
Have a nice day!”
*make sure you have the sound turned up.
I am not a marsupial
Wednesday, October 17th, 20071. I just went to VS to try on bras since mine are all in tatters. Had to put back all the pretty grown-up ones which were too big and get a stupid wireless (wifi bra!!) one with pink hearts and polka dots on the straps from the teenybopper line. So much for sexy… I could have carried my young in those pouches.
2. Yesterday I received spam mail from these most excellent addresses: MillicentDiscomfitCarrier@something.com and ElmaGuiltyWoody@britneyspears.com Awesome! I suspect MillicentDiscomfitCarrier is responsible for the dreadful bras, though.
Sixth time will put your eye out
Friday, October 12th, 2007I’ve partly decided to try NaBloPoMo, mainly because I need to have some kind of disciplined writing practice, but also because it ends with ‘PoMo.’ Which makes me think of my pretentious college friends (self included, when I actually understood what they were talking about) discussing postmodernism in our literature and religion classes. Also, PoMo reminds me of MoFo. So you see how it is. Irresistable, really.
Speaking of said Pretentious College Friends, I was recently informed that one of them is going completely blind and will be so in about ten years. That’s disturbing, of course, and I’m truly sorry for him. The person who told me, however, interjected it into a relaxed, semi-comical conversation, and thus caught off guard, I thought he was joking. And that it was a joke about this old cautionary tale. I think I kept my mouth shut and my face relatively non-gleeful enough, but I bet he could see the mixed emotions: pity, satisfaction, disbelief, vengeance justified.
This PCF stood out on our small Christian campus because he was pretty open about sexuality—his, in particular. It was whispered that PCF had partaken of sexual congress “six times!” I think most tenth grade boys would laugh at that record, but to us sheltered little girls, he was Bad. Ass. A dangerous, ballsy, sinner. We were in awe of him.
So, regarding a person who challenged the prevailing view that self-pleasure was pervy, you can see (ha) how news of his blindness seemed like a perfect joke set-up.