March 2008

Mother F. Nature

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Ok, so the Canadians would laugh if they knew I was even making the comparison, but this article conveys exactly how I feel about winter:

We know it was wrong of us to stand idly by and let Al Gore show all those explicit photographs of what you’re going to look like 30 years from now. But seriously — ease off. Enough with the apocalyptic downfalls of snow mixed with ice pellets mixed with freezing rain mixed with snow pellets. I’m not saying I’m totally sick of winter, but see that animal’s head mounted above my fireplace? Say hello to Punxsutawney Phil. Shadow-seeing bastard had it coming.

Be sure to read the whole thing.  Go on, do it!  It’s not like you were on your way to the beach.

tentative formula for successful 8 pm soccer game

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

    2 mile run

    fairly serious weight training

    upset stomach throughout day

     20 minute nap

     no food since yogurt at 3:30 pm

     pre-game diarrhea

  + no personal fans watching

     ________________________

     boundless energy, speed, mostly good moves

limpid pools

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

I have been prescribed to have computer/reading glasses in addition to my contacts, so my eyes don’t do as much “heavy lifting.”  I guess it’s time for me to get a beaded chain to keep all my visual accessories around my neck. 

I also found out that my eyes are dryish because of clogged glands in the eyeliner area.  I am to apply warm compresses in the shower or from time to time, so that the oil will seep out and free up the tears.

Reading glasses!  Oily clogg-ball eyes!  Please stay married to me, dear. 

Outside a coworker’s office:

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

national-sarcasm-society-posters.jpg

In which I am an orthodox Jew and Piglet meets a Heffalump

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

I’m on my way to the gym today and decide to sit on a bench in the sun.  And this lady sits next to me.  Seems like a typical frumpy middle-aged NY-er with a Strand totebag, but out of the blue she asks me, “Are you religious?”  Now, I had been using my stylus and iPhone, and this was not at all the question I was expecting/hoping to hear. 

I say, “Not particularly,” and she says, “Because you’re wearing a skirt!” with a look of bewildered delight on her face, as if I was wearing a sun bonnet or some other legitimate relic. 

She continues, “You know, most women wear pants.  So I wondered why you were wearing a skirt.”  I stare at her, then reply that I decided to wear a skirt today for no particular reason.  And then decide my sunshine needs are met and scurry away to the gym. 

wtf?!?  It really felt like she was fresh out of a head-covering cult and was just getting used to the pants thing herself and couldn’t believe someone would deliberately put on a skirt unless they were compelled to.  But I think she was just a slightly air-headed person who wanted to make conversation and maybe had an idea that there were Jewish skirt-loyalists in NY and perhaps she had met a live one. 

LISTening

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Here’s list meant to be my Mar.2 BloPoMoPost.

 Upon the suggestion of Whoopee (whom I would indeed follow over a cliff), I have joined imeem, so as to add songs to my sidebar, as I have done with Flickr.  Until I figure out how to do that, however, you must be content with these suggestions for revving up your fine selves.   You’ve heard of downloading songs, right?  I have just enjoyed their motivational and kickass qualities on the treadmill.

 1. Suite Judy Blue Eyes, Crosby Stills Nash & Young.  7 minutes and 42 seconds of bliss. 

2. John Saw That Number, Neko Case.  It’s the gospel of truth, people, and you will see God.  I saw her play recently and was in raptures when she closed with this song.

3. Get Right With God, Lucinda Williams.  Isn’t that what we all want?

4. Nuclear War, Yo La Tengo.  I believe it belongs to Sun Ra, but YLT adds in a choir of little children, which is especially delish on the “It’s a motherfucker, dontcha know!” chorus.  Another 7 minutes + song. 

5. Say You Will, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals.  How can you say no to Ben Harper?

Foot-washing isn’t THAT fun

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

gym lady in the locker room, muttering: Where did my towels go?  Jesus Christ!

me, aside: Jesus took your sins, not your towels.

Fussy has launched a NaBloPoMo Encore, for all non-November months, too.  The theme for March is lists; I like that themes are given, as it’s very helpful to have a starting place, and lists are easy as your mom. 

I’m considering it.  Not a full-on legal committment, but perhaps I shall live in sin with the idea.. off and on… in and out.