First of all, what the hell is wrong with a nice, healthy Visible Panty Line? I hope to goodness you are all wearing panties out there, and frankly, I would prefer to see the hard, cold evidence.
Things that are unsightly:
1. your trousers conforming to each divet in your dimpled buttocks
2. your RUFFLED, DENIM thong line, by which you missed the InVPL by several bumpy miles
3. your trousers or dress getting pinched between your buttocks for lack of the panty creating the beautiful illusion that women do not have butt cracks
4. the rippling quiver of your unfettered buttocks as you ascend the stairs in front of me
And truly, the thong is just as visible as the granniest pair of knickers out there. It has seams, yes? and likely sits atop your skin at some point? and contains elastic banding within? Then do not kid yourself that you are pulling one over on us.
And now I will take my seat on the front porch with the other grouchy grannies grumbling about the gremlins of this generation. Thank you.