Finally, I have discovered what the heck they use over at my favorite vegetarian restaurant for the fake gluten "meat." It's called seitan (SAY-tahn; keep that H in there or you'll have to say it in a Dark Lord voice) and I found one or two varieties at Whole Foods. I believe you can also find it at Asian markets. At WF, it was in the dairy aisle, among the tempeh and tofu.
It's sort of lumpy and brownish, thoroughly revolting to look at, squishy. But like all the non-meats, it sautes up nice and crisply, and it has a chewy, almost chicken-y feel when eaten.
I sauteed in olive oil with a splash of sesame oil, added stir-fry veg, sprinkled with sesame seeds, added a vaguely Asian brown sauce (that needs some work) and served over brown rice. (A Googleage of "seitan recipes" will help you figure out where to start, but basically treat it like tempeh).
Even P liked it. Hurrah. When I can wrestle these Wordpress/huge jpg/server/upload speed bastards to the ground, I will add some pictures. (update: Bastards partially subdued, thanks to the Flashmistress and some very patient remedial html help from P. Also, I have the patience of a petulant, fit-throwing toddler. Please to give me Paxil. )
I just tried this stuff the other day. I wasn’t a fan. I jumped on the gluten free bandwagon a few weeks ago and am in the process of experimenting with my taste buds.