1. One foreign company I did business with at work was called Vagionakis. 

2. My sister was a nanny for a curious 3-year-old, who had just learned about her bits and one day decided to joyfully holler, “Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!” at the top of her voice while J3 was minding her.  Unfortunately, the child’s mother was upstairs and came running immediately (wouldn’t you?).  J3’s face must have been one big blotchy combination of horror, embarassment, defensiveness and amusement.  I’m sorry I missed that. 

3.  The best part.  Today’s author completely conquered our sales conference and secured her place in our company’s heart when she incorporated audience participation by handing out giant cards (think “MR. SCHNAFFENFLUFFER” signs that drivers hold up at airports) that read “VAGINA,” “ORGASM,” “MASTURBATION,” “INTERCOURSE,” and “CLITORIS.” (PENIS was omitted on the basis that is “has become a household word, like ’dog’ or ‘cat’).  That wasn’t half the fun.  While she related some anecdotes from her book research, sign-holders were meant to sing out their particular buzzword when called upon. 

We squirmed a bit at first, even the president looking as nervous as a 6th grader in sex-ed, but the volunteers gathered courage, and soon even the stern sales director was putting a delay in his resonant “ORGASM   !” for effect, and the rest of us were guffawing loudly. 

Forget falling asleep– that was the best sales conference of all time.  I even called P, so he got to overhear someone yell, “BUTTHOLE” when the CLITORIS person was too slow.