Pants » overheard

Ivana Slakoff

admin — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 01:25:54 +0000

P: So how did it go?
J: Good! Pretty good.
P: I’m sure you mean well. I see we’re wearing our grammar sweatpants today.

Spam of the Day

admin — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:41:57 +0000

I used to get a big kick out of ThingsMyBoyfriendSays.com, but it seems to be a dead blog now. Maybe they broke up.

Lucky for me, there’s enough material in-house to start my own. Yesterday, P received a gem of an email promising him “55 Steps to Seduce Girls: A Guide for Meen!” He considered this offer. “On the one hand, seduction of girls! But fifty-five steps is waaay too much work. I’ll pass.”

I’m sure some other Meen! will jump on this offer.

admin — Sun, 31 May 2009 17:33:36 +0000

P: These boxers are ugly. They take all the fun out of being a man.

Think before you speak

admin — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:03:48 +0000

1.Overheard comment at Mighty Girl’s blog:

Commentator during last weekend’s Preakness Stakes: “I had the pleasure of riding both his mother and his grandmother.”

2. I wish I had thought of this.

Brian & Eileen’s Wedding Music Video. from LOCKDOWN projects on Vimeo.

3. Ever suffered through an Olan Mills portrait session? Now you can laugh at others in awkward photo poses.

And I continue to laugh at exploited children.

admin — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:34:22 +0000

Quotable Friday

admin — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:06:53 +0000

1. from elderly colleague down the hall:

“One night stands are common; make it a good one!”

2. Peter, after I farted while he was talking to me:

“Why don’t you just chat with your butthole?”

3. NY Times book reviewer Christopher Buckley on Anne Rice’s memoir, Called Out of Darkness:

“This is the literary equivalent of waterboarding.”

Outside a coworker’s office:

admin — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:05:33 +0000

In which I am an orthodox Jew and Piglet meets a Heffalump

admin — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:51:04 +0000

I’m on my way to the gym today and decide to sit on a bench in the sun. And this lady sits next to me. Seems like a typical frumpy middle-aged NY-er with a Strand totebag, but out of the blue she asks me, “Are you religious?” Now, I had been using my stylus and iPhone, and this was not at all the question I was expecting/hoping to hear.

I say, “Not particularly,” and she says, “Because you’re wearing a skirt!” with a look of bewildered delight on her face, as if I was wearing a sun bonnet or some other legitimate relic.

She continues, “You know, most women wear pants. So I wondered why you were wearing a skirt.” I stare at her, then reply that I decided to wear a skirt today for no particular reason. And then decide my sunshine needs are met and scurry away to the gym.

wtf?!? It really felt like she was fresh out of a head-covering cult and was just getting used to the pants thing herself and couldn’t believe someone would deliberately put on a skirt unless they were compelled to. But I think she was just a slightly air-headed person who wanted to make conversation and maybe had an idea that there were Jewish skirt-loyalists in NY and perhaps she had met a live one.

Foot-washing isn’t THAT fun

admin — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:34:18 +0000

gym lady in the locker room, muttering: Where did my towels go? Jesus Christ!

me, aside: Jesus took your sins, not your towels.

Fussy has launched a NaBloPoMo Encore, for all non-November months, too. The theme for March is lists; I like that themes are given, as it’s very helpful to have a starting place, and lists are easy as your mom.

I’m considering it. Not a full-on legal committment, but perhaps I shall live in sin with the idea.. off and on… in and out.

If you’ve got the money, honey, I’ve got the time

admin — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:18:49 +0000

P: (walking out of the bathroom, shirtless) I wonder if Del McCoury was ever at a wild party where someone sidled up to him and called him “high and handsome.”

J: The best part of that joke is that you thought of it while you were looking at yourself in the mirror.